The Way You Like It
by mymotherisacylon
Summary: Harley/Ivy Femslash/Shoujoai OneShot Songfic - Ivy is invited to the Joker's hideout on what is supposed to be a business trip, but she ends up with more than she bargained for. Disclaimer: I don't own Batman. All rights reserved to Adema for the lyrics.


Ivy traced a thoughtful fingertip against the brass handle of the door-knocker, choosing to ignore that it was cleverly shaped like the Joker's face, and wondered why she'd been so anonymously invited to the madman's hideout. They had no business that she was aware of, and as far she knew, no qualms to settle. She wouldn't have come if that were the case. She had better things to do than to bullshit around the Joker's hideout, pointing fingers and pulling hair. He was psychopathic and dangerous, and she had no desire to be around him. Sure, perhaps they were all crazy, to a certain degree. But he really topped the cake. A crusty, day-old cake. She allowed herself an amused smirk before finally gripping the metal ring clenched between the pseudo-Joker's brass teeth and knocked.

There was no classic _clunk_, _clunk_ as to be expected from hitting metal against a wooden door, but instead a brief second of silence followed by an ear-shattering cackle, "YAHHHH HA HA HA HAAAAAAA!!" Ivy barely had time to clamp her palms over her ears. Grimacing, she waited for the piercing guffaw to quiet down before lowering her hands away from her tender eardrums, mildly irritated. A laughing door-knocker. It figures.

A moment passed before a small, hidden piece of the door slid open, revealing a pair of bright blue eyes. The familiar voice that followed inquired, "Password?" Despite herself, Ivy found it difficult to resist smiling, "Oh Harl, do I really have to?" When her friend gave no reply, Ivy pursed her lips and leaned in closer to the door. Quietly, she whispered, "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again." It was just her luck that one of the Joker's favorite movies was Silence of the Lambs. Then again, she supposed it could be worse.

The door flung open, revealing an exuberant, smiling woman in a jester's outfit, her arms open wide in a 'ta-dah!' sort of gesture. Ivy arched a slender eyebrow, taking in the sight before her with hidden amusement. "Well, that makes sense," she said smoothly, "You're the one who invited me."

"Yep!" Piped in her excited friend, who soon stepped aside and ushered her in, "I decided to surprise yah, jus' the way yah like it."

**(I'll get inside you)  
(I'll get inside you)**

**  
Don't live ashamed, 'cause feelings change but fame remains,  
The reason why you're gonna wanna take me home tonight.  
It's all the same up in this game, the people change,  
And money claims everyone from everything.  
I can't believe that you would think that shit of me,  
I was amazed at the torment that you put me through.  
If you can see right through the greed and all your needs,  
You realize that you were just about as bad as me.**

"The way I like it?" Ivy said questioningly as she entered the foyer. She was somewhat apprehensive about what she might find lurking within the Joker's hideout, but she trusted her friend completely. "Since when have I liked surprises?"

Harley merely grinned, turning her back to Ivy so she could lead the way. "Well, it wasn't all _that_ hard tah figure it out," she replied in that familiar drawl of hers, "Yah like me, don'tcha? And I'm full a' surprises!"

Ivy found herself drawn to the simplicity of Harley's reasoning, even if it did sound a little ridiculous. Maybe things weren't always complicated. Maybe some things really were that simple. She mulled over this quietly as she followed the jester-clad woman through a labyrinth of dead-end hallways and blocked-off corridors, evading booby traps and making small talk. Harley explained that the Joker had departed on a rather long, arduous mission, this time to get rid of Batman 'for good', and had ordered her to stay behind and watch the hideout. She was shattered and disappointed by his decision but of course didn't challenge his authority. She stayed like a good little dog. This bothered Ivy in ways that she understood, but also in some ways she couldn't quite explain. Where was Harley's self-respect? Where was her sense of pride? Wasn't it enough to settle down with a nice, young, _normal_ man somewhere? Ivy knew the answer to that one – a flat out 'NO!'.

**Sometimes I only remember the days when I was young,  
Nowadays no one remembers when they were young and stupid.  
(The way you like it)  
Come on, baby, help me; someone to confide in.  
(I'll get inside you)  
Now you're beggin' me to stay.**

"We're here!" Harley exclaimed happily as they came upon a door, snapping Ivy out of her thoughts. The blue-eyed sidekick flung the door open, revealing a small, plain bedroom. There was a single twin bed with a bright red comforter in the corner, a dresser, nightstand, and full-length mirror. The room was otherwise barren but had a lived-in feel to it.

"Um, where is here, exactly?" Ivy asked, cautiously stepping into the room.

Harley danced around the enclosed space for a bit in her usual, energetic way of flopping around before she finally collapsed onto the bed, giggling. "My bedroom, o' course!" She replied, beaming up at her red-haired friend. Ivy shot her a look of mock annoyance, but it was mostly to hide her inner turmoil. Did the Joker really make Harley stay in this room? Weren't they a couple? Didn't they sleep together? Shutting the door behind herself, she carefully voiced her thoughts to Harley, unable to hide her curiosity. The normally jovial woman's face fell, and for a moment, she was silent. Then finally, she responded, "He only lets me in his room when he's in tha mood for a piece a' ass." Ivy didn't reply, and they shared a mutual moment of silence. However, Harley's enthusiasm returned completely when she suddenly shot to her feet, saying, "Now you jus' sit tight, missy! I'll be right back!"

As she zoomed out of the room, Ivy shook her head in slight amusement. Not that she had much of a choice; she certainly didn't know her way around the hideout. Once she'd been left alone, she ventured over to the full-length mirror, mostly just to pass time while she waited. Thoughtfully, she studied her reflection. She was fairly tall for a woman, slender and lithe with a refined, feminine musculature. Her skin was a gentle olive tone that would only get darker in the sun, a contrast to Harley's fair complexion. Long, thick tumbles of auburn hair cascaded down her back, halting mid-way, accenting the vibrant green of her eyes. Her lips were full and inquisitive; without really meaning to, she seemed to always look as if she were up to something. She flashed her reflection a sultry smirk. She wasn't even in her Poison Ivy outfit and she still seemed to stand out.

**My life has changed but fuck the fame, I'll stay the same,  
You can't complain when you can pay the bills and do your thing.  
Appreciate, don't player hate, congratulate,  
I miss the pain and the torment that you put me through.  
(I'll get inside you)  
So what's to fear when everything is crystal clear?  
You realize that you should do the things you wanna do.  
Don't give in to what people say, don't be ashamed  
To separate the feelings on your mind you can't sedate.  
(I'll get inside you)**

Abruptly, a pair of pale arms encircled her waist from behind, pulling her closer to the body they belonged to. Ivy's eyes widened in mild surprise when she realized that Harley had somehow sneaked up on her. She took note that the blonde had removed her make-up and costume. Her blue eyes were lidded with hidden intentions, as was her mischievous grin. "Harley, what's going on?" Ivy asked, her back rigid and expression somewhat suspicious.

"Oh, nothin'," Harley chimed in innocently, pressing her smaller, more curvaceous body up against her friend's, "At least not yet." She giggled, nuzzling the red head's neck playfully.

Ivy slithered out of Harley's grip and took a step back, looking very cross. In a harsh tone, she stated, "No."

Harley immediately put on the puppy-eyed expression she did so well, puckering out her lower lip cutely as she whined like a small animal that had been kicked a few too many times. Ivy fell for it every time, but not now. Not anymore. Tearing her eyes away from her comrade's pouting expression, she said more firmly, "_No_."

"But.. but, _Red_!" Harley whimpered, stepping over to the red-haired woman and attempting to embrace her, "It's been a _whole_ _week_ since he went away! A girl has needs!"

Ivy sidestepped the hug and folded her arms stubbornly, still refusing to look at the shorter woman. "Right, a girl has needs," she repeated snidely, then glared at Harley, "Your libido is off the charts and you know it. Just wait until your _puddin'_ comes home." She spat the word out like it was filthy, but she didn't care. She was getting indignant and had every right to be angry.

"But I _can't_ wait!" Harley cried desperately, collapsing on her bed in a pitiful mess of cuteness. The sight made Ivy's heart flip-flop in excitement but she wouldn't allow herself to give in. As expected, the blonde added, "That's why I have you, Red. We're friends, right? Friends do favors, right?" She looked up at the red haired woman with those big, blue eyes, pleading, begging for it.

Ivy sighed, feeling her resolve grow weak. She dropped her arms in defeat and faced her comrade, looking slightly hurt. "How long are you going to toy with me, Harl? How long are you going to use me as your rebound or your damn concubine when he's not around?"

Now it was Harley's turn to look hurt. "It's – it's not that!" She sputtered, a bit flabbergasted, "You mean more 'an that, Red!"

"Oh, do I?" The green-eyed woman responded sarcastically as she stepped over to the blonde. She hovered over her menacingly, glaring, daring her to say something. "You play with me and throw me out again, time after time. I always get my hopes up that you might actually give two shits about me, and then you run back to him." Despite her willpower, she found herself desiring Harley like she had so many times before, if not more than ever. The feeling erupted as a low burn deep in her abdomen, causing her to catch her breath. Between her anger and passion, she grabbed Harley's shoulders and shoved the smaller woman flat onto the bed, then crawled on top of her and straddled her curvy hips.

Harley squeaked in surprise, suddenly looking very submissive and weak beneath the red head. Swallowing, she mumbled, "I-I'm sorry, Red... I didn' know you were so upset by it."

**Sometimes I only remember the days when I was young,  
Nowadays no one remembers when they were young and stupid.  
(The way you like it)  
Come on, baby, help me; someone to confide in.  
(I'll get inside you)  
Now you're beggin' me to stay.**

"Yeah? Well, I am." Ivy snapped, but already she could feel her hurt drifting away. Instead her heart sped up with growing excitement, and she could feel her breath quicken. Without really thinking about it, she leaned down and pressed her lips against Harley's, instantly settling into a deep kiss full of passion and pent-up desire.

Harley's eyes widened at first, but then she slowly melted into kiss, the same kiss they'd shared so many times before. A probing tongue founds its way into her mouth, and she whimpered appreciatively as the taller woman took complete control, dominating every aspect of the situation. Abruptly, Ivy yanked herself back from the kiss, both of them breathing heavily from the interaction. "I don't know how the hell you do this to me, but dammit, it feels good." Ivy maundered, her green eyes piercing into her friend's blue ones. Harley smiled cutely and slipped her arms around the taller woman's waist in affection, replying, "It's all in tha wrist."

Ivy cast her comrade an exasperated sort of smirk, then mumbled, "Oh, shut up, you." Harley giggled, nuzzling into the red head's neck fondly. After a moment, Ivy pulled away from her and sat up on the bed, regarding her friend with a suddenly serious expression. "Did you mean what you said?" She asked cautiously, "About me meaning more to you than what I thought?" Harley sat up as well, still smiling and absently toyed with one of Ivy's deep red ringlets, twirling it around her finger in a playful manner. Finally, she replied, "Jus' think of it this way: Mistah J is my boyfriend, and _you're_ my girlfriend."

**(I'll get inside you)**

The taller woman produced a sultry smile of her own as this new thought entered her mind. The Joker is her boyfriend, and Ivy was her girlfriend. She could live with that. She had never wanted Harley's love to begin with – she knew better than that. Harley belonged to the Joker and there was no disputing it. But Ivy simply didn't want to be a whore, a mere plaything for Harley to use whenever she felt like it. She wanted affection. Love was out of the question, but fondness and friendship wasn't. Eying her comrade, she pushed her playfully and said, "You're impossible, you know that?" Harley giggled again and let herself fall back onto the bed, looking up at Ivy expectantly. "Yep," she replied, then impatiently added, "_Now_ can yah fuckin' _fuck_ me, already?"

Ivy laughed at the blonde's choice of words, then cast her a mischievous, seductive sort of gaze. "Yeah," she said, slipping her hand teasingly between Harley's legs, "Just the way you like it."

**Sometimes I only remember the days when I was young,  
Nowadays no one remembers when they were young and stupid.  
(The way you like it)  
Come on, baby, help me; someone to confide in.  
(I'll get inside you)  
Now you're beggin' me to stay.  
(The way you like it)**


End file.
